Saturday, December 26, 2009

Don't dictate my own happiness

Someone once told me that you have the choice to choose
What you can win or lose

You can't have everything as it has its up and down
The best is that in life, you can always take chances
however, you might feel the pain

When you love in vain,
love won't set you free

I could stand by my side
And watch this life pass me by
So unfulfilling
But safe as could be

what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground

Sometimes, it's just that i can't see
the kind stranger on this road and blaming everyone I saw
Don't I feel like a victim and don't even start my self-pitying
Don't say anything as every words will seem like excuses

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my voice
Don't wanna feel guilty for every choice I make, Don't wanna care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah

I just wanna be happy
yeah, happy, happy...

Renew, Replace and Recycle

As the New Year is approaching, I can't help but to wonder where have all my time gone? If calendar is not invented, time is not restricted to only 24 hours? What will the world becomes? Will we still complaining that we always run out of time or making excuses that we have insufficient time for our love ones? Who created time and who dictates our time?

We're all so caught up with time that we actually fail to realize the past and the future depends on the present and if we try to figure out where is the present, there is no way we can measure. Every second that goes by is the past and every new second is the future. Nothing equates to nothing for the past and future. That's why we have been holding on to nothingness, attaching to the past that have no substances, just purely our imagination creating the illusion, memories.

What about future? The future is something we hope for that yet to exist. So, we should focus and consider our every words and actions that create our past and future. There is no reason for us to figure who created time and space but only the present is the best time for us to realize what living in this world truly means. As for now, regardless new year or not, for me, It's time to renew my life with new found perspectives that enrich and improve the world, replace my bad habits with good reforms and recycle for the world in distress that gives us time to fulfill our goals and resolutions...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Table needs leg

When they say table needs leg, they literally means it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Paper Explosion

Paper Pot
Finally, a refreshing change for tissue paper cases, from Japan! With its cute shape, bright colors (except for black, which is matte finished), and useful functions, this revolutionary Paper Pot can surely add a new twist to your room decors.

Amazing clock!

Digital clock: only figures, no case, only the necessary – only accurate time. Each figure has self-contained power supply and independent control, it can be fixed to any surface autonomously. A light sensor will switch the clock to an invert mode: the figures are white in the dark time of day and black at daytime.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Same old but not same old

Travelling is on my mind once again, so I should find that life is starting to get a little brighter as I start to see even my familiar surroundings in new ways. It's time to plan a trip...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Turn me on!

This good design by John Caswell turns me on...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

First Cry

29 years ago, I cry for the very first time. I'm not sure why, how and where exactly, I just know I have to cry. Not even sure if it's happy or sad. I cried, incessantly. I can't really recall what happen. I do know for the fact that I didn't cry out of self-pity. Every year on this day, I admit at times I do cry for myself, when I love to be by myself. Also, trying to figure how to make me feel better by imaging it’s a special day to celebrate. I guess when things appear to be too beautiful, I'm afraid to look closer, thus it's blury and I can't tell the reality.

So for the past 3 years, I try running away...I travel to Bangkok, I rather not be in the country when I first started to cry I pander to a different culture and environment so that nobody knows me and exactly what this day holds for me, not to mention judge me. I guess, perhaps that's the also first capital of a country (excluding Malaysia as my mum is Malaysian) I've visited that leaves me kind of nostalgic…

This year till to work commitment, I've to stay in Singapore. I even have to meet a client later. I guess crying is out of my option. Instead, I face and live it like every other day. Then, rather than feeling pitiful, my feelings turn to gratitude. Unlike, on this very day, there might be somewhere, someone is crying for the loss of their love ones or lost their home and got abandoned on the streets till to natural disasters. Things could be much worse. I’m thankful. I counted my blessing.

Today, I'm grateful of not crying. I'm truly thankful for the person that gave birth to me 29 years ago and slides a red “Ang Pow” next to my bed, wishes me Happy Birthday early in the morning as she has to go to work before I’m awake…That's my mum and my birthday.

Find out what happen last year.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Heading for a spritiual journey...

Elizabert Gilbert once wrote in her book, eat pray and love, in order to discover who you really are, you've to travel to the country starting with the letter "I". Thus, she traveled all across to Italy, India and lastly Indonesia.

I've traveled to Indonesia, even though it's hardly a life changing experience, it somehow enlightens my way of seeing life. As for now, in T2, accessing free internet ;) I'm flying to the next "I" country, India. Call it coincidences or contrived calling, I've been searching for some inner peace since I quit my volunteer work. It's hard to recognize that volunteer work would have unforeseen political issue to handle. Somehow, it happens for a reason, I was later offered a job that I need to commit, hence no time for volunteer work as well. I feel unsatisfied.

When I met my friend, CW one day saying she is in need of seeking spiritual guidance and the best way to unravel the truth is to attend talk or teaching from monk or respectable venerable. Who better to learn from the 14th Dalai Lama? It then triggers my thought that perhaps I could do this.

The travel agencies are offering package for a person from S$1750 - S$2050. I then did some research and discover that it only takes S$950 by doing it yourself.

Finally after much calculations, I put my credit card number down the online form and book a direct SQ flight from Singapore to Delhi. Not knowing what can satisfy me spritually, I'm now in Changi Airport T2 typing this entry...

Fpor more on my travel experience, visit

Monday, October 5, 2009

My kind of happiness

I grew up with my mother's love surrounding me since young, to certain extent the love that she showers manifest into my "curvy" figure. The kind of happiness that I experience or pursue is very different. Once the fairy tale "happily ever after" enchanted me, leading me to believe everyone needs a soul mate. I might not have been into any BB relationship or soul mate experience before, I certainly don't miss out any happiness.

My kind of happiness is traveling around the world, exposing myself to the unknown. Waking up every morning to the breakfast my mum prepares for me. Knowing I've certain amount of money to do some bargain hunting. Meeting up with chums gossiping about someone who knows someone.

However, last Sunday, I experience another kind of happiness...from a wedding. something I thought is a contrived man-made ceremony to declare what love is all about. I've known this couple, JB & MJ since secondary school from my chum, JL. We'll often traveled to JB together for a weekend get away filled with food galore, spa indulgence and of course mouth gossiping exercise.

When I was asked to participate in their wedding, from gown selection, styling to hosting. I've never felt so delighted! The progress might not be easy but it's the hard work put into the friends you've seen, evolving from single to a couple that is gratifying. It's amazing to see the usual wedding dinner that I dread to go turns out to be an exciting event. It is truly a joyous occasion. The thing about marriage is you have to be willing to died and love for each other, faithfully without losing yourself to one another. I might not share the same kind of happiness with them but I truly feel that their kind of happiness will last forever...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Comtemplation & Comtemplation

Lately, I've been circling around in the contemplation lane. Sometimes, you find your way out, at times, you keep circling round and round. In life, it's all about making decision. The anxiety of making the right decision, whether it may be right or wrong forces you to face life. I believe every decision has its pro and cons. What's important is the decision you make, is it for yourself or others?

I got a very attractive (Not the salary but the job scope & prospect) job offer last week, after freelancing for about 2 1/2 years. I realize committing to a full-time job might be threatening to my freedom. That freedom that allows me to take a nap 3pm in the afternoon after heavy lunch and jogging in the morning breathtakingly at 8am makes me think twice and harder. Then, I think thrice, isn't life suppose to struggle for the better? If we take the easy way out and not discovering the potential we have in store for ourselves. Isn't life meaningless?

Yes, I admit I'm losing a big bit of my freedom but at the same time I’m struggling and pursuing a career that I’m passionate about. FASHION. Money & fame don’t entice me like my heart confess to me.

At least, I know for once, I’m making a decision not for anybody but truly to myself…

Monday, July 13, 2009

Passport - The official way to travel ;)

Not surprising, this is the fourth time I'm renewing my passport. I can't believe how I've evolved just by looking at the pictures on my passports. With this entry, it means I'm travelling again. This time to Indonesia, comprises of 17,508 islands, and with an estimated population of 237 million people, it's the world fourth most populous country and has the largest muslim population in the world.

I'm starting my journey from Jakarta > Badung > Joyogkarta > Borobudur > Surabaya and lastly Bali. How excited am I? I just have to wait and see...

For more updates, pls visit

Saturday, June 13, 2009

放开放开放开放开放开放 Letting go

I’ve a Muji white translucent name card case. It’s simple and chic, casual yet sophisticated. In additional to that utility is that it only cost $2. I bought 2 of it immediately knowing I’ve the tendency to spoil everything under my destructive belt.

As I’ve been using it for almost 2 years (Surprisingly) and recently, M, my chum since primary 4 whom recently become a well-know celebrity hairstylist is looking for a name card holder. My exquisite taste for my name card case caught his eyes. He loves it very much and since I’ve bought 2, I offer to give the other one to him as a gift. He asked what happen if your name card holder is spoilt. I can’t help but to wonder why do I keep attaching myself to everything even in a simple name card holder?

Impermanence exists in every aspect of life, regardless if you acknowledge it or not. There seems to be a certain time limit for what we possess. It’s like there is an invisible expiry date for the bag that we bought, the mp3 player that got stolen, the failed relationship we once thought will be forever. The struggle with our attachment is self denial. Knowing we can’t pull back time yet holding on to the memory that never comes to life again.

I told M, I’ve learned to let go. I’ll get another name card holder when it comes. It might not be easy to adapt but at least I understand that’s life.

I discovered to be able to let go is to let new inspirations arise and liberate ourselves to a new perception and a new beginning. To let go is to allow us to have the opportunity to experience life. If we keep holding on, we’ll never able to discover what life can offer.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Be happy with yourself!

If you're not happy with yourself, no matter how many surgery you undergo, you'll still never be happy with yourself...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Simple life for a start

My last day in Saigon is the sweetest! Well, I mean it literally. I found the tasty and sweet Dau Huay on the narrow lane of Saigon when I was wasting my few hours before my departure from the HCMC International airport, this old lady with big heavy pot hanging on her shoulder begin to lure me into what’s perhaps the most delectable and my favorite dessert in the planet. Sometimes, the best time in life are simple and come in a nominal price. For 3000Dong (30cents Sing), I enjoy the soft and tender texture of Soya melt in my mouth with the brown sugar syrup and guess what, coconut milk too. Oh my Lord Buddha! He is right that we get attached to our senses too easily and created this person call I. Nonetheless, it’s too good to let go that I order one more to satisfy my desire.

I remember when I was travelling in Cambodia; Andrew from Scotland mentioned there are 2 types of people he’ll differentiate. The bottle half full or the bottle half empty. He told me that from the way I form my opinion, I’m the bottle half full guy with strong optimism. Boy! Isn’t he right? Life is too short. You don’t waste it by worrying your life away. Everyone deserves to be happy even the ones that you detest the most. Why not be grateful and appreciate for what you have and maybe you’ll realize the simplest and most achievable happiness is not too far away…from you.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Taking a Break!

Backpacking once again in the land of smiles before heading to Cambodia and Vietnam.

For more updates, pls visit

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Common friends are everywhere but Good friends are hard to come by…

This Week started with Big, Loud and Red Bang. Mainly because my good chum, M from my Secondary School announced she'll ROM this October. Thankfully, it's not the same date as MJ or else there'll be a bigger explosion.

We met in the land of woods shopping mall, getting excited about the good news M has mentioned in the sms which J, SLP or me would either know she is getting married or having a child. I guess having a child might not consider as good news ;)

Thus, we had our dinner at Lerk Thai, which unfortunately 2 days later I'll be flying to Bangkok to taste the authentic and cheap cuisine. As we run through our memories in our secondary school-hood, I just realize how easily happy and naive we are. Of course, our roar of laughter keeps sending the passerby to stare at us.

However, we couldn't care less. We laugh all our way to Toast box before we agree to meet up regularly bi-monthly or quarterly. How I miss the old days and the laughter we once achieve so effortlessly! Ahhhhh...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Watch out for your destiny

I found a quote that is closely related to Mister B teachings;

Watch your thoughts: They become your words.

Watch your words: They become your actions.

Watch your actions: They become your habits.

Watch your habits: They become your character.

Watch your character: It becomes your destiny.

Repeat this 10 times, then you shall be mindful of your actions and words.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The curious case about the way we live

Pretty much this few weeks, there are lots of movies I would like to watch and many movies that I’ve watched. Nevertheless, my movie buddy, R or S will always ask me out, sharing the light in a dark room full of people.

Once in a while, you’ll catch a movie that keeps haunting you, a certain scene or moment that captures your imagination bursting with millions and millions of contemplative molecules (If only they have such molecules).

That movie I’ve watch a few days ago, is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. No, I’m not a big fan of Brad Pitt and neither it’s a movie about a man who count buttons for his whole life but more like a man who’ve grown from old to young. The story of the movie prompts me to think further about the way we live our life. If your life does not start from the beginning or the end, then, does that mean we should live our life from the middle?

Life is strange and unpredictable. The minute you stop caring about how your career is going or how your life is faring, everything starts to take off, even when you decide to kick back a little. Still, life goes on without my anticipation or expectation. Maybe the life works better in a nonchalant effortless cool.

We can't hold on to our memories forever, even my hard disks which contain all my digital photos crash sometimes. Since nothing last forever, not even the sea and mountain. That inspires me to live my life right right at this very moment…

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Thai Song of the month - Febuary

Too Fast Too Serious - ชิน ชินวุฒ Chin

Sunday, February 1, 2009


Friendship is like a pair of shoulders, some are comfortable to slumber on, some are there for us to cry on and some need an extra shoulder pad to get it right. Some have perfect shoulder to fit on any clothing, it becomes unbearably prickly. Some are too beautiful to look with envy, some just pisses me off and make me want to slap them harder; some shoulder you couldn’t remember as they either have grown or you are just not accustomed with it anymore.

How about my pair of shoulder? It’s like the seahorse mattress. Not everyone will like it, but that’s where I find solace.

Yet, some shoulders have been dislocated and when it recovers, old injury remains but the same shoulder will never be the same again…