Somewhere I've read...

Fireflies in the Garden

Here come real stars to fill the upper skies,
And here on earth come emulating flies,
That though they never equal stars in size,
(And they were never really stars at heart)
Achieve at times a very star-like start.
Only, of course, they can't sustain the part.

~ Robert Frost

Somewhere I've read...

There is no power greater than a com­mu­nity dis­cov­er­ing what it cares about.
Ask “What’s pos­si­ble?” not “What’s wrong?” Keep ask­ing.
Notice what you care about.
Assume that many oth­ers share your dreams.
Be brave enough to start a con­ver­sa­tion that mat­ters.
Talk to peo­ple you know.
Talk to peo­ple you don’t know.
Talk to peo­ple you never talk to.
Be intrigued by the dif­fer­ences you hear.
Expect to be sur­prised.
Treasure curios­ity more than cer­tainty.
Invite in every­body who cares to work on what’s pos­si­ble.
Acknowledge that every­one is an expert about some­thing.
Know that cre­ative solu­tions come from new con­nec­tions.
Remember, you don’t fear peo­ple whose story you know.
Real lis­ten­ing always brings peo­ple closer together.
Trust that mean­ing­ful con­ver­sa­tions can change your world.
Rely on human good­ness. Stay together.

Stop, let go & move on

I can still remember vividly my first job experience, of course, I’ve work as a video rental assistant, guardian pharmacy assistant and CD sales assistant before but nothing compared to the first job that launches your career as a designer.

I was working with planet ad but it seems more like I’m working in planet Hell, and my Japanese creative director name is Hal too. It was a torturing yet also one of the most rewarding and great learning experience. All of my ex-colleagues can be a testament to that. All those nights of sleeping in the office rushing for never-ending deadline and pizza for lunch to dinner and sometimes, left over for morning breakfast. It’s unhealthy, lethargic and most of all lifeless. I even learn how to say Watashejintekaoshiteno which means give me back my life in Japanese so that my director could know how life in Planet ad has been for me.

However, after resigning my job, I learn to know. Who am I? a little better. What I want? A little more. What to pursue? A little clearer. It’s like Eat, pray & love after coming out from a messy divorce, you know who you are and what you want except in planet ad, we eat, work and shit!

Then why are so many people afraid of sadness? Don’t they know happiness must exist together with sadness? It’s relative! If not, how do you tell the difference? They tend to let their feelings run amok over and over again. They can’t seem to stop and get a grip of themselves because it seem like that’s the final point of their life. Changes are constant. Whatever you feel won’t be permanent because it is subjected by your senses.

In future, when you face any unhappiness, remember it’s only a process to go through until you find your happiness again; of course unless you indulge in melancholy, you’ll never discover happiness (I’ve a few friends whom are like that)! You just have to learn how to stop, let go and move on.

So if you don’t mind me, I’m going to watch a sad movie now because unfortunately my life is pretty much “sadnessless”…


P/S: In the coming year, I wish all my friends & cousins a happy & in between a touch of sadness 2011!

一个人的烛光晚餐 A candlelight dinner for one

要到哪里逛一逛
才不会辜负我的细心打扮
买下那渴望已久的topman项链
是不是一种心里补偿

灯火太灿烂
还是我自以为开心
好想玩个疯狂
废寝也忘餐
才换到这成就感
可是如果来个烛光晚餐
一个人怎吃得完

我知道怎么办?
只来一道甜点chendol, 感觉一样浪漫
甜蜜的味道会掩盖所有辛酸
让我感受一下冰淇淋的浪漫
眼花缭乱的色彩不用谁分享

也许该大声呼喊
对着整个城市庆祝一番
为了这个不平凡的夜晚
我怎么会没有打算
像生活所有事情我也知道怎么办

就看一场爱情电影
感觉也可以一样浪漫
黑暗和安静的戏院会掩盖我所有辛酸
让我感受一下这孤独的浪漫
像生活所有事情我也知道怎么办

让我感受一下烛光晚餐
冰淇淋的浪漫
眼花缭乱的色彩不用谁分享。。。

My lifestyle, my choice...

In the eyes of my friends or even strangers, my lifestyle is something that many covet or envy. My chums usually told me I would love to travel and backpack like you do, experience life and look at this world with a wide open heart but I don't have the courage or determination, not to mention the burdens of harsh realities that life accumulates, car and house, monthly bills and the costly expenses to maintain a fast pace lifestyle in this modern world. That’s why, in this world they are hardly anyone whom can travel like you do.

Every time I hear it, there is a sense of disappointment and sadness. Life is already too short to begin with yet people can’t pursue the lifestyle they want, it’s disheartening. There are people around me whom think that my lifestyle is liberating, trouble-free and some people will even think of it as a storyline for a movie. It’s unrealistic! It’s like a story based on Eat, Pray and Love except I started travelling before the book becomes popular. I can’t figure out what’s my main motivation, I just feel like there are a lot of places in this world waiting for me to visit, cuisines that yet to tickle my palette and strangers that yet to be my friend.

Saying I love to travel is under-rated, the best way to say it is I live to travel. In the beginning, I’m like everyone whom gets excited and nervous for a new destination, doing what the tourist does and buying souvenirs but now backpacking has a different meaning, it’s more adventurous and amazing to travel to an unexplored territory, meeting the locals, understanding their cultures and lifestyle. As my travelling goes on and on, I bought less souvenirs and visit less touristy spots. I know travelling to me has a new found meaning. At the end of every journey, I grow up with new perception; meeting people on the train, peeing in the middle of the road, sharing food with strangers becomes the main reason to reminiscence. Certain places or people make you nostalgic. From the excitement I used to have for travelling slowly turns into a simple minded and ordinary state of mind. I look at this world much clearer without preconceive excitement or expectations.

This few years, my vagabond lifestyle, alter my requirements on food and lodging, just as long I won’t died, that is my motto for travelling. Living in a foreign land, Aa single lifestyle, it’s not easy as everyone thinks, facing troubles or tricky problems, I’ve to resolve it on my own, trying every means to make my trip as cheap as possible. I never find myself choosing this path, leading a non-confined or cliché life. I’m gratified and easily contented. Gratified when my friend asks for my advice in the countries I’ve visited and some even follow my footsteps. I live myself in a map with no specific directions, I’ll let the shore washes me wherever I need to be.

It’s a lifestyle I chose and a choice I made without regrets.

At this moment, where am I?

A single man, having an impression of this familar city, asking himself where is he heading, but yet looking strangely at the same time. Bangkok, the city which I fall in love with often gets me addicted with their perfect imperfection, the bustling traffic, the agreesive tuk tuk drivers (okay, maybe not that) and the infamous red-light district which infuses with the glorious Buddhist temples. This impression oftens lingers in my mind.

This city, everytime I'm here, in my mind, become wonderous into many different worlds, some comes with nostalgia, some adventurous, some lonely but mostly liberating with happiness and some you can't let go and you have to keep revisiting, just to pursue that same old setiments you once remember but can never feel quite right the same as before. Everyone living in this city have different ways of mapping it. Some follow their heart, some follow the road signs and some circling along the same road waiting for someone to point them the right direction.

The key is am I wiling to try out a different road, out to a city I've never been. At this moment, it doesn't matter what I'm doing but where am I that matter most.

Everyday, walking in the same city but different routes, mapping out my own directions, I stop and asked myself at this moment again, where am I?

I feel that my life is where I want to be...

Happy Birthday to me!

Read previous Birthday entries

http://skylet.blogspot.com/2009/11/first-cry.html

http://skylet.blogspot.com/2008/10/081180.html

http://skylet.blogspot.com/2007/11/whats-there-not-to-celebrate.html

Be aware, be very aware...

Have you ever seen ants marched across the tree barks? Have you ever try tasting the sweetness from a grain of rice? Well, if you haven't, you're one of those people like me, multi-tasking and speed chasing in the era of instant gratification.

I was at the Buddhist Conference, happiness here and now. They talk a lot of things but I’m deeply attracted by the word - mindfulness, at least that's what I've erudite from the conference. How many times are we fully aware of our actions? Don’t we sometimes act in the moment of folly and regret our actions? Or act under society/peer pressure that we inhibited our own happiness? In this automated era, we seem to tune in like a robot.

We eat for the sake of eating without actually tasting it. We earn a living by saying I've no choice when we don't actually know what we are doing. We don't love what we do; we do it for the sake of doing it. Seriously, the keyword is to slow down and think about what you do, you might be impressed by the result. Mindfulness creates a different kind of perception. For e.g the lizard on the wall might seem to you dirty and disgusting, try thinking about what the lizard think of you! Most probably the lizard will think the same way as you does! By slowing know, we also are taking time to focus and experience how we truly behaves. Savoring our relationhips with people, our encounters, our meals and enjoying this slow passage of time. From this newfound perception, we might be a much happier and gratifying person.

Even though I'm in favor with the Italian, the sweetness of doing nothing, I'm definitely of those men whom can’t idle doing nothing; however I can try to do it a little slower...

The right timing and challenge

I’m discussing the content of a lifestyle enriching website that I’m designing, and then comes the question, Kyle, you’ve so much good ideas, why don’t you write something for us and we’ll edit it for you. That’s where I begin to think. I love to read. I love good quotes or well-phrased sentences even more. I usually spend time chilling out with my book, a well written book of course. When I finished, I realized what a joy it is to read books that take place sort of where I am.

However, writing for real is not my forte. I believe Carrie in Sex and the City is awe-inspiring (her shoes collection as well) and there are times when my friend referencing her role as my character in life. unfortunately, I am more Miranda than Carrie. She is a writer and I’m neurotic, both of us might be in the creative industry but doesn’t mean everyone is born to write.

In my secondary days, I’ve problem writing a 350 words composition. My punctuation is always kind of…eccentric. I guess that puts the fear of writing in my dictionary.

However, I believe in the power of good timing and challenge. It’s like reading. Certain books have come into my life in such a way that I can’t help but to think, “This is the perfect time for me to be reading this.” When my life is in the crossroad, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho gives me the strength in knowing what each individual can achieve. When I was travelling for the first time to Laos, Eat, Pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert changes my perspective in travelling and inspire me to cherish every moment.

When I travel, books are my only companions; the character in the book makes my imagination runs amok when I’m sitting on a long bus or train journey except reading on a plane where I find it confining and contrived. Travelling is the best time I can read completely, 2 to 3 novel for a period of one month. A good book inspires you, change your perception and the way you see life.

I also think everything happens for a reason. I’m so good in bitching thus I don't think writing might be hard. I actually don’t mind writing at all, at least not professionally, my english teacher Miss Laila will be so proud. If I can share my feelings in a novel sort of way. Certainly; it’ll be gratifying. Well, let's hope I won't end up in tragedy like most classic novels are...

Closure

Few weeks ago, I was in Bangkok visiting a friend of mine, Pauline which unfortunately had been diagnosed with advance stage liver cancer. When we talk about cancer or someone having cancer, we don't usually realize the impact. The word “anything could happen” stuck with me for a while.

Then last week, my uncle in Malaysia died in a car accident. My mum grieves at any moment the name of my uncle is mentioned. In life, death is unavoidable but then it seems like unfinished business keeps on trading like the hi-rise buildings in Raffles place. Thankfully, those businesses can be consider as one form, regret. There are only 2 types of regret. Both are a choice you make to validate your decision. It’s either you do or you don’t. Either way, you’ll regret both.

Research had shown that most people regret in something they did not do. The main reason is because we are free to imagine the different consequences of scenarios if we have chosen the “unchosen” road. What if… to put it in the easiest form of speech. However, keep thinking of “what if” could never turn back time and amend our mistake or wrong decision. Instead, focusing of what’s now.

What's going to happen now is that facing death and preparing for death everyday you live is not pessimistic or taboo. If someone gets really ill, the last thing you can do is to let the illness define who he/she is. Instead prepare for what's going to happen. No matter how hard we try to keep our composure and to present a facade of calm and understanding, we can never be able to explain death sensibly. Instead, find a way to end it with a proper closure, if you care well enough to seek for it...

*Pauline had now passed away in 8th May 2010*

New Year Resolution

In the beginning of the year, most people would love to make plans, resolutions and some refer it as goals, hoping life can be more fulfilling, rewarding or transforming into a better version of themselves. However, by making all the above so called resolutions, subconsciously we tend to take control. Controlling our life the way it can be.

I spend nearly every minute thinking about control, how I can make a decision more efficient, what I should do to prevent mistake from happening, what I should wear to work. And still sometimes I can’t figure out if my aspiration – as an idea, a concept, a goal – it’s good or bad.

I make sure my bedroom is clean and tidy, my books and notes run in alphabetical order, my wardrobe according to the color hues, my keyboard 90 degrees parallel to the desk that I almost feel like I might have developed Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I feel utmost gratify when my stationary is impeccably organized. Divine! And yet so many words and phrases that pertain to control are negative. “Control Freak” and “Possessive” immediately flashes through my mind(Note that those terms sometimes have been used loosely on me before.

Losing control is scary, especially when the future unfolds. No doubt able to take control in certain situations, people and your life can be empowering but nothing is predictable (unless you’re the oracle, which I doubt only exist in Matrix), we’ll all have days when the floor fell beneath us. When you’re lying awake at night worrying about something or another, your mind and imagination is beyond control at times that causes you towering anxiety. We just can’t control everything! Also, I’m making myself more miserable.

Each in our own way, we have to accept or sometimes embraces – the loss of control. One thing leads to another, we just have to let go and see where life takes us next. I’m not suggesting that you completely give up your life. However, take a deep breath and stay calm, and perhaps mediate, our resolution can be resolved and state of mind can be more serene. If it doesn’t work out, we can always try again or change another more realistic resolution as we’re always the one in control …