Wednesday, January 6, 2010

New Year Resolution

In the beginning of the year, most people would love to make plans, resolutions and some refer it as goals, hoping life can be more fulfilling, rewarding or transforming into a better version of themselves. However, by making all the above so called resolutions, subconsciously we tend to take control. Controlling our life the way it can be.

I spend nearly every minute thinking about control, how I can make a decision more efficient, what I should do to prevent mistake from happening, what I should wear to work. And still sometimes I can’t figure out if my aspiration – as an idea, a concept, a goal – it’s good or bad.

I make sure my bedroom is clean and tidy, my books and notes run in alphabetical order, my wardrobe according to the color hues, my keyboard 90 degrees parallel to the desk that I almost feel like I might have developed Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I feel utmost gratify when my stationary is impeccably organized. Divine! And yet so many words and phrases that pertain to control are negative. “Control Freak” and “Possessive” immediately flashes through my mind(Note that those terms sometimes have been used loosely on me before.

Losing control is scary, especially when the future unfolds. No doubt able to take control in certain situations, people and your life can be empowering but nothing is predictable (unless you’re the oracle, which I doubt only exist in Matrix), we’ll all have days when the floor fell beneath us. When you’re lying awake at night worrying about something or another, your mind and imagination is beyond control at times that causes you towering anxiety. We just can’t control everything! Also, I’m making myself more miserable.

Each in our own way, we have to accept or sometimes embraces – the loss of control. One thing leads to another, we just have to let go and see where life takes us next. I’m not suggesting that you completely give up your life. However, take a deep breath and stay calm, and perhaps mediate, our resolution can be resolved and state of mind can be more serene. If it doesn’t work out, we can always try again or change another more realistic resolution as we’re always the one in control …