Thursday, February 8, 2007

Is single hood a blessing in disguise?

Is it me or is it the festive season that makes me feel like I’m not fully completed?

Somehow or rather I'm grasping the idea that as usual I won't be celebrating the coming CNY as a couple. I don't know how exactly celebrating with your partner would be like but I do know for a fact that I've been celebrating my CNY as a single in my 27th year. I'm 28 years old in actual fact, if you calculate it from the Lunar Calendar. Once again, whenever the festive season is near, I can't help but to think of all the relatives of asking me why am I still single?

As I step into my 27th year single hood, I can't help but to wonder is single hood a blessing in disguise?

Recently, after coming back from my KL trip with my friend Seth, his BF has rented an apartment with beautiful scenery over hanging the Twin towers. The place is amazingly cozy. I’ve realized within the 2 days stay, the ultimate reason why I’m still single is because I can’t live and “complete” my life with anyone else. Take my friend for example, living together makes me open my eyes and discovered how demanding and a control freak I am. I’ve to make sure things run accordingly to my way. I can’t stand people reiterate the same question to me when obviously he’s not listening. I've gotten use of my daily lifestyle and immune to not depending on anyone to shower me love.

Seriously, I'm not even sure if I know what love actually is. Perhaps I don’t know since I’ve not fallen in love before. I know I'm well enough to stay happy, of course the kind of happiness only a single can find... That is good enough not to roll up into heaps of expectation and arguments with perhaps what you’ve perceive is your soul mate. As the “pig” year is approaching, no offence to all the Muslim, should I count my blessing that the reason why I’m still single is the fact that I'm too independent for anyone. Single hood might really be a blessing in disguise for me, maybe now??

If I have no present, how am I able to think about my future…?