Saturday, October 30, 2010

At this moment, where am I?

A single man, having an impression of this familar city, asking himself where is he heading, but yet looking strangely at the same time. Bangkok, the city which I fall in love with often gets me addicted with their perfect imperfection, the bustling traffic, the agreesive tuk tuk drivers (okay, maybe not that) and the infamous red-light district which infuses with the glorious Buddhist temples. This impression oftens lingers in my mind.

This city, everytime I'm here, in my mind, become wonderous into many different worlds, some comes with nostalgia, some adventurous, some lonely but mostly liberating with happiness and some you can't let go and you have to keep revisiting, just to pursue that same old setiments you once remember but can never feel quite right the same as before. Everyone living in this city have different ways of mapping it. Some follow their heart, some follow the road signs and some circling along the same road waiting for someone to point them the right direction.

The key is am I wiling to try out a different road, out to a city I've never been. At this moment, it doesn't matter what I'm doing but where am I that matter most.

Everyday, walking in the same city but different routes, mapping out my own directions, I stop and asked myself at this moment again, where am I?

I feel that my life is where I want to be...

Happy Birthday to me!

Read previous Birthday entries

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Be aware, be very aware...

Have you ever seen ants marched across the tree barks? Have you ever try tasting the sweetness from a grain of rice? Well, if you haven't, you're one of those people like me, multi-tasking and speed chasing in the era of instant gratification.

I was at the Buddhist Conference, happiness here and now. They talk a lot of things but I’m deeply attracted by the word - mindfulness, at least that's what I've erudite from the conference. How many times are we fully aware of our actions? Don’t we sometimes act in the moment of folly and regret our actions? Or act under society/peer pressure that we inhibited our own happiness? In this automated era, we seem to tune in like a robot.

We eat for the sake of eating without actually tasting it. We earn a living by saying I've no choice when we don't actually know what we are doing. We don't love what we do; we do it for the sake of doing it. Seriously, the keyword is to slow down and think about what you do, you might be impressed by the result. Mindfulness creates a different kind of perception. For e.g the lizard on the wall might seem to you dirty and disgusting, try thinking about what the lizard think of you! Most probably the lizard will think the same way as you does! By slowing know, we also are taking time to focus and experience how we truly behaves. Savoring our relationhips with people, our encounters, our meals and enjoying this slow passage of time. From this newfound perception, we might be a much happier and gratifying person.

Even though I'm in favor with the Italian, the sweetness of doing nothing, I'm definitely of those men whom can’t idle doing nothing; however I can try to do it a little slower...