Dearest Mummy

Eve of Christmas, a day where everyone thoughts are the last minute never ending X'mas shopping, on what to wear and food catering. Yes you need lots of gastronomic delights on your dinning table to last through the night. Fortunately, this year I'm emancipated with my decision not to participate till to the reason Christmas once to me was celebrated with only my 2 chums (I'm not a Christian) and it seems that they are no longer the reason why I'm celebrating Christmas this year. Nonetheless, it's still a day of love and thanks giving.

This year has been a tumultuous year, Unlike other years, I've face more obstacles and difficulties than before except the NS period. The failure of setting up my own publication, the copyright infringement law suit, the betrayal of a good old friend, the financial crisis, Somehow, I manage to keep all this to myself. There are moments I feel like giving up and end my unworthy and odious life. Since it's so unworthy and no one would care and why should I care, I firmly believe that it will be the most stupid thing I'll ever do. Stupider than stupid. Thinking about it is stupid enough..what's more you can't please everyone. On the other hand, the truth is not as noble as you think. The fact is I simply can't give up not seeing my mother's face everyday. I live for her.

I’ve truly believe, probably because of my mother’s assurances, that I could accomplish anything that I want. I can be who I want to be, without any questioning and doubt. The kind of liberation she gave me propel me to move on and face the unknown fearlessly. Since then, I’ve this principle that I hold for my life. The moment I stepped out of my house, my role is to make my mother proud, wherever and whenever I go. It’s not about this big fat huge ego so you will get complimented; it’s about how much you love your mum. My mum single-handed supported me, the best I can do is not to shame her.

It's inexplicable and indescribable for the love I have for my mum, the only way I can do it on this eve of Christmas day is to say Thank you and I love you much...