Long life—what does it truly mean?

This question has been circling my mind lately, wrapping itself around my thoughts like an ever-tightening thread. I find myself caught between how long I should live, how long others expect me to live, and how long I truly want to live. The weight of these questions can be overwhelming, but life has a way of bringing clarity in the most unexpected moments.

Recently, during a conference in Kathmandu, I was fortunate to meet a kind-hearted Italian Buddhist friend. We connected instantly, sharing stories, experiences, and perspectives on life. When he learned about my health condition, his immediate response was not one of pity but of compassion. He took it upon himself to share my story with a dakini—a wisdom-bearing woman in Vajrayana Buddhist tradition—believing she might offer guidance. When he asked if I would like to know what she had to say, my response was immediate: "Yes, please."

The dakini’s message was simple yet profound. She advised me to perform a long-life puja to remove obstacles and improve my health. She also shared practical advice—avoid carrying heavy loads, walk less, think positively, and feed the fishes for my well-being. Each word carried the weight of wisdom, yet what lingered in my mind was not just the prescription for longevity but the deeper implications of living itself.

A long-life puja is a Buddhist ritual performed to extend the life of an individual, typically a spiritual teacher, so they may continue to benefit others through their wisdom and guidance. It involves prayers, offerings, and acts of generosity, with the belief that these positive actions generate merit and remove obstacles to one's well-being.

The purpose of the long life puja is for students to purify the mistakes that occur in relation to their teacher, and to create the causes and conditions to continue to receive benefit from that teacher for a very long time.

The puja is often dedicated to gurus and revered beings, but it can also be performed for oneself or loved ones as an expression of devotion and the wish for a meaningful, extended life.

This idea of a long life has always been elusive to me. We often hear it in birthday wishes, especially after we cross certain milestones—50, 60, 70—as if longevity suddenly becomes significant at those stages. But why must we only think of long life when sickness lurks or age catches up with us? Do we really have control over how long we live? And if we don’t, then why do we take this body, this vessel of experience, for granted?

Buddhism teaches that life is impermanent, that clinging to it with fear or attachment only leads to suffering. Yet, at the same time, we are encouraged to live meaningfully, not just for ourselves but for the benefit of others. In Buddhist tradition, long-life pujas are not performed for selfish reasons but for the well-being of great teachers—our gurus—so they may continue their work, guiding and uplifting countless sentient beings. Their longevity is not just about existing; it is about serving, about spreading wisdom, about nurturing compassion in the world.

This realization struck something deep within me. Perhaps long life isn’t about counting the years, nor is it about fearing their end. Maybe it is about what we do with the time we are given. Even as my body faces its own challenges, I am reminded that there is still so much I can offer. Kindness does not require perfect health. Love does not demand physical strength. Even when the days feel dark and the road ahead uncertain, there is always something we can do to bring light to the world.

And so, I find myself more inspired than ever to live—not just to exist, but to live with purpose, with love, and with a heart open to the endless possibilities of each moment. Because in the end, long life is not about how many years we have; it is about how much light we bring into those years.

Now, where can I buy some fish food? Because if feeding the fishes brings good health and long life, I might just make some new aquatic friends along the way...