The Endless Search: From Google to the Path of Liberation
After my PEG operation, searching has taken on a different meaning. The relentless pursuit of answers, the endless queries typed into Google, the chase for problems to be answered whether it is medical or out of curiosity — all of it now feels obsolete. What once seemed urgent — seeking pleasure to watch the next video, success on how to make it as an entrepreneur, and identity of my queer self — now appears unimportant. My body has undergone change, and with it, my mind has started to shift. The only search that remains now is the search for liberation. The Buddha, in the Paṭhamaesanāsutta , speaks of three kinds of search: the search for sensual gratification, the search for being, and the search for a holy life. I now see, with greater clarity than ever before, that only one of these searches truly matters. 1. The Search for Sensual Gratification: Chasing Fleeting Pleasures Before my operation, I was caught up in this search, like everyone else—finding joy in food, entertainment, an...
