Everyday is a winding road but everyday comes with hope

When I first heard I’d need a Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy (PEG) tube, it felt like a disability. Eating, showering, and even taking my medication—things I once did without a second thought—had suddenly become a meticulous process. But as the days passed, I began to understand the purpose behind this change. The PEG tube wasn’t just a medical intervention; it was a lifeline, a bridge to healing and stability for the condition I'm suffering, Aspiration.

While the transition hasn’t been without its challenges, I’ve found ways to navigate this new terrain with hope, resourcefulness and determination. Let me share what life looks like after PEG, the purpose behind it, and how I’m adapting to this “abnormal normal” with as much patience as I can muster.

1. Showering: A Three-Part Miniseries

Taking a shower used to be a quick escape, a time to unwind. Now, it’s a carefully orchestrated routine broken into three distinct segments: shampooing my hair, cleaning my lower body, and delicately addressing the sensitive area around the PEG site.

The area around the PEG opening requires special care, as even a small misstep can lead to discomfort or infection. I’ve learned to be mindful, using gentle products and taking my time. Though it may seem tedious, this slower pace reminds me to honor my body’s needs and the progress I’m making.

Tip: Invest in a handheld showerhead with different pressure. It gives you better control over water flow, especially when cleaning the PEG area. A small wet towel is easy to wipe and clean the PEG opening and all the sensitive areas closely and deeply.

2. Eating: A Slow and Steady Drive

Eating has transformed from an everyday activity to a meditative experience. Unlike before, I can’t simply eat and go. Meals must now be delivered in controlled amounts—300 ml of milk over an hour, for example—to avoid bloating or gastric discomfort at a specific time. It feels like driving a car at a reduced speed on a long road, but safety comes first.

This slower process has taught me patience. I’ve come to appreciate the act of nourishment in a way I never did before. Each meal, carefully measured and administered, is a reminder of the care I’m giving myself to heal.

Tip: Keep a timer handy and a book or podcast nearby to make the time more enjoyable during feedings.

3. Medications: Crush it

Pills used to be a quick gulp and go. Now, they’re a process all their own—grinding them into a fine powder, dissolving them in water, and ensuring they’re safe to administer through the PEG. Some stubborn pills require extra time to break down, and I often let them dissolve while finishing my food.

While this may sound like a chore, it’s taught me the importance of being thorough and mindful. It’s a small way of showing my body that I’m listening to its needs.

Tip: Invest in a good pill crusher or grinder. It makes the process easier and ensures you get the full dose of your medication.

4. Wound Care: A Practice in Generosity 

Cleaning my PEG site twice a day has become a moment of mindfulness. Ensuring the area is clean and free from infection isn’t just a task—it’s an act of self-love. Be generous with the time i give to myself for self-care. It requires patience and attention to detail, but it’s worth every moment to keep myself safe and healthy.

This routine has taught me the value of consistency. No matter how busy or tired I feel, I know this small act contributes to my overall well-being.

What's more, if I mess up the cleaning now, there will be more complications to clean up the mess later 

Tip: Create a calming ritual around wound care, like playing soothing music or using aromatherapy to make the process less stressful.

5. Throat and Neck Exercises: Staying Active

While the PEG helps with bringing food to the right places, it’s crucial not to forget to keep my throat and neck muscles active to prevent stiffness and maintain function. Daily exercises ensure I’m still engaging these muscles, even if I’m not eating the way I used to.

These exercises remind me that my body is still capable, still working hard for me. They’re small but vital steps in maintaining my quality of life.

Tip: Do it while you are watching Netflix or YouTube. You will realise time flies by when it's done. 

6. Moisturises the lips

Who knew dry lips would become such a central focus? The PEG has brought a host of changes, including the need for constant lip care. Applying lip balm has become a small but meaningful ritual, a way to nourish myself in the midst of all the medical necessities.

It’s a reminder that even small acts of self-care can bring comfort and joy.

Tip: Choose a lip balm with natural, hydrating ingredients like shea butter or coconut oil for long-lasting relief.

Practice Makes Perfect

Yes, life after PEG is different. It’s slower, more deliberate, and often feels like a series of chores. But with every passing day, I’m finding my rhythm. I’ve come to see this process not as a burden, but as an opportunity to practice resilience, patience, and self-compassion.

There’s hope in that transformation—in knowing that what feels daunting today will one day be routine. As Buddha once said, “No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” 

Every day brings new experiences, and with them, the promise of progress. Slowly but surely, I’m adjusting to this new normal—one step, one routine, one hopeful moment at a time.

This life, in many ways, feels like being a martlet—a mythical bird without feet, destined to stay in flight from the moment it is born until the day it falls from the sky. The martlet never roosts, never pauses, always moving forward through the winds of change and the storms of life.

In my own journey, I’ve come to see the martlet as a symbol of resilience and determination. Like this bird, I cannot always rest in comfort or retreat to a place of familiarity.

Life has demanded continuous effort, pushing me to navigate the skies of uncertainty, pain, and transformation. But even in flight, there is beauty. Even in motion, there is purpose.

Every day brings its challenges—unfamiliar routines, discomfort, and the constant adjustments required to maintain this body. Yet, much like the martlet, I’ve learned that I can still soar despite the turbulence. I may not have control over the winds, but I do have control over how I spread my wings.

Life may look different now, but it’s still mine to live. And like the martlet, I am determined to keep flying, to embrace the journey with grace, courage, and the steadfast belief that even in endless motion, there is meaning.

This life is my sky, and I will navigate it with all the strength I can muster.

Hope is like a muscle, and just like pumping iron, I will continue to strengthen it with determination and effort. Each challenge I face serves as a weight, helping me build resilience and fortitude. With every setback, I will lift my spirits higher, pushing through the struggle to cultivate a stronger sense of hope.